Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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