Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
