69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
