Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
jump out the window naked night went bad
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
