I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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