Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
