Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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