Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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