So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
