i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
