Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we're making bets on your personal life
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
