ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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