yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize