Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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