I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
