With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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