Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
