And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
