dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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