She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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