So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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