What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
