HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
