She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
