Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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