my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize