its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
should my penis look like a turkey
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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