Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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