I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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