i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
zippers are such a cool invention
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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