we're blogging at a bar
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
