i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
