i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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