Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
