wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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