WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
