I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
