Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
