no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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