ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
