So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
