i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
