At least make sure they are 18
Why
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize