Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she told me i tasted like america
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
