Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
this hospital has no fireball
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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