Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
