for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
