You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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