He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
