i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
