You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
soo... how was my night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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