You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
