handjob tips. give me some.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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