He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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