im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
