Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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