I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
