tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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