He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
