did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
