You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
